Life's a Classroom

For more than two years now I have been on my own, figuring things out and writing that next chapter in my life. Life is constantly evolving and teaching me new things, not always in ways I want to learn new things, but learning them nonetheless. There are moments I feel like God has clicked the pause button on my life while He's in the kitchen getting a sandwich. I'm learning patience (but not fast enough for me!)

I've learned how important planning and preparation is. Everytime I head out on another assigned trip for work, I am learning how to pack more efficiently. Every new flight I start I learn how to prepare and configure my galley for the easiest flight possible. These things don't always work out, of course. I still tend to pack way too much and my aching shoulders are proof of that. There are still flights where things don't go as planned. But it's always teaching me something new. Something doesn't work out right so I think to myself "ok, next time I'm doing THIS instead" or "I'm not doing THAT ever again!!"

Financially, I'm still learning the lesson of frugality. Amazing, since my husband Mike was one of the most frugal people I have ever known. I did my best to balance that out over the years, but never with much success. Now I'm trying to be more frugal and thrifty.

I'm also learning to be more grateful and appreciative of all the blessings I have in my life. I think as we go through life we tend to take all those things for granted. We don't mean to but we get caught up in always wanting more and bigger and better things. We get a new tv and love it, then see a newer larger model and wish we had gotten that one instead. We get an iPhone 4 and then wish we had waited for the iPhone 5. We buy a new house and then feel envious of the larger more elaborate houses going up in our neighborhood. I think it's human nature. But in the meantime we don't appreciate all those good things we already have in our life.

It's goes beyond those material things, of course. We need to learn to appreciate those people in our life and not always wishing they would just be different. If you have children, be thankful for them because there are those who could never conceive or even adopt. If your parents or grandparents are still alive, be grateful because many have no parents or grandparents to turn to. Be thankful for your spouse or significant other; they may not be there tomorrow and there are many all alone. If you have good friends in your life, remember to be appreciative of them as well. Those who have a job, even a crappy one that they hate, need to stop and be thankful that they have a job and have income, rather than simply wishing they had a better one. There are so many out of work right now. Instead of always just dreaming of having more money, be thankful for what you have now. It may not be much, but its far more than some have.

Not that there's anything wrong with aspiring for more. That's human nature. It's good to go after a better job that you will love and that pays more. Nothing wrong with wanting material things as well. But while chasing the dream, look around at what you already have and give thanks. Enjoy it in the now. I believe that is the key to gaining more as well.

I'm learning to just be happy now. Not waiting until I get all the furniture I need for my house, or a bigger paycheck, or a better work schedule and more seniority at work, or lose 5 more pounds or for anything else to happen first. I have decided to just be happy now, exactly as I am and how things are now. And it's not easy. That's where the learning comes in. I have to learn to do this and fight the tendency to feel sorry for myself when things don't work out the way I want them to or when they don't happen fast enough for me.

I believe that the key to being happy is just deciding to be happy right now and not sweating the small stuff. To live more simply and not getting caught up in other people's drama. I believe we need to be more kind and giving, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem at the time. Stop judging others and worrying about what they're doing or wearing or acting like. Laugh more and find humor in all situations. And accept that we're not perfect, we make mistakes and are human. Sometimes we screw up and there's no sense in beating yourself up over it every time. To let go more, pray more and worry less.

So learning to plan and prepare more, be more patient and more frugal are some of what I'm working on but the most important thing I think is learning to just be happy no matter what. Those are my goals now and I will keep working on that everyday.

Source: via Nancy on Pinterest

Miss me, but let me go

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little – But not for long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me – But let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to your friends that we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good works,

Miss me – But let me go.

Facebook.com/LiteACandle

Give Yourself a Moment

Recall a time alone,

when you called out a name;

but there was no encouragement

and nobody came.

Simply light a candle…

feel the comfort in its glow.

Soon you’ll sense a ‘Presence’

and your loneliness will go.

Refresh yourself each day…

within the candle’s ray.

Use the ‘Light’ it sheds on you…

to chase darkness away.

Give yourself a moment,

in a place where you’re apart.

Surrender in the solitude…

the burdens of your heart.

Peacefulness will follow,

bringing harmony to heal.

Light a candle as a symbol –

of a ‘Presence’ which is real.

Facebook.com/LiteACandle

National Museum of the Marine Corps

Sometime in the fall of 2011 I made a $300 donation to the National Museum of the Marine Corps and in exchange had a memorial brick inscribed for the walkway in the Memorial Park section on the grounds of the museum. Finally just a week ago I received the letter stating the brick was finished and had been set in place. I was home for a couple days from flying so we took the hour drive up to Quantico, Virginia to find it. They provided me with a map of sorts and that helped with locating the general section. There are so many laid there that I wasn't able to find it right away and did start to feel a little apprehension after a while: "Oh man! I hope it's actually here!!" But then we found it. It's right in front of a plaque marked "Meritorious Unit Commendation Navy-Marine Corps Streamer". Mike liked simple things and probably wouldn't have wanted all the fanfare at his funeral and probably wouldn't have been fine with a simple flat gravemarker. I, in fact, had a dream not long after his death where he walked into the room I was in and told me I needn't have gone to all that trouble and expense. But I think he would approve of this simple brick and the simple short message written on it. I'm glad that now something of his is at the Marine Corps Museum. He never got to visit it but I know he would have loved that museum. He would have gotten lost and spent hours in there. It's a really nice, quiet and reflective spot where it was placed. Very easy to find. Video

Two years come and gone

Well now it's been more than two years since that fateful day. So much has changed that at times it seems like it's been far more than two years. Other times it seems like it was yesterday. I feel confident now that I'm on the right path and positive about the moves and the changes I've made. None of it has been easy but I never once doubted that God was there and that Mike was looking for out for me and the girls the whole way. I do wonder what the next two years will bring and I'm convinced it will be great things.

These days I'm so busy flying back and forth from Richmond to Chicago and then flying for work. Then when I'm home I'm running errands, working out and trying to get things accomplished. It is definitely good to stay busy. There was a time right after the accident in which I wasn't busy enough. In the beginning working like this probably would have been a huge strain. But now I believe it is therapeudic.

Now and then the girls and I feel like Mike is nearby. I once swore I heard his familiar voice say "Nance?" when I was at my house in Manistee alone. Sometimes we smell his cologne or other smells associated with him (the good ones, haha!) There have been other sounds heard that remind us of him and it's always (well usually) comforting.

I'm working this Memorial Day and worked on the second anniversary of his death a week ago. At first I thought that would be hard to be working on those days but, for me, it's a good thing. Mike was always one to stay busy and keep on moving forward. I guess I've become the same way.

Getting my wings

It has been a while since I posted.  I have been pretty busy these last few months. For starters I have been in the process of buying a new house in Virginia and completed the sale at the beginning of December.  Unfortunately I wasn't able to be at the closing because I was at flight attendant training. So, in other words, I missed it but for good reasons.  I finished flight attendant training just before Christmas and have been flying for ExpressJet (United Express) ever since out of Chicago.  Becoming a flight attendant was something I really wanted to do when I was in high school.  I just felt like the career was a good match for me.  Sometimes you just have this sixth sense when it comes to something like that and why you're drawn to something.  Life had decided to put that dream off and I never regretted anything,  Marriage, children, moving around...they were good reasons.  But a little over a year ago the craving for that career emerged again and I could see no reason anymore not to go for it.  I started applying and did interview with one other airline. It is hard to get in. It's really hard just to get the interview and then usually only a few get hired.  But God was with me this time and lead me here.  I know some people can't relate and wonder why I want to do this but I'm finding it fun and exciting, if at times very tiring.  But I do like it a lot and have met a bunch of new wonderful friends.

I feel like now I'm starting a new chapter in my life and it's ok.  It's ok to move forward and begin a new.  There was this part of me way down deep that was listening to one or two people who judged me for wanting to move ahead.  I was told I hadn't grieved long enough.  Well, you know, it'll be 2 years in May and I'm still grieving.  But grieving doesn't mean you stop living.  Grieving doesn't mean you don't move forward and go after your dreams.  Whether it's moving to a new place, going back to college, starting a new relationship or a new career, traveling - whatever and wherever you feel you're being led to, it's ok to do that while still grieving.

Life is good and I'm grateful to be alive.  I'm thankful for each new day I'm given and look forward to being there for all the new things that lie ahead: new places to go, new people to meet, new things to learn and experience, grandbabies one day, success for my daughters.  Life has begun again and I know Mike is smiling in heaven over it.