3 months

Tomorrow marks 3 months since Mike has been gone. Mike had been gone for extended periods before. We went through 2 deployments and like other military spouses, I had to be both mom and dad for the whole period. It was never easy but it sure does build character. You learn how to be very independent and survive. This has been far harder, of course, because there is no end to it. Now I’m the decision maker and it’s always frightening. What if I make the wrong one?
One thing I’m grateful for is that my kids are older now and that there are only two of them. I can’t imagine going through this while my girls were still little. Or having to go through the early teen years either alone. Mike was a scary dad for boys wanting to date my girls to have to meet. Imagine having to meet a retired gruff looking Marine who hunts, and has guns!! He was strict but it was only because he loved them so much and knew what boys that age had in mind (because he had been one once himself!) I also can’t imagine what it was like for my mother-in-law when her husband, Mike’s dad, died. She was left a widow with 6 kids, all at home, middle school age through teens. I’ve heard God never gives you more than you can handle, but He sure does come close sometimes.
Tomorrow, weather permitting, I will take a rose to the crash site, at the end of the breakwall, to mark the date.